in training to stand the loneliness
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in training to stand the loneliness
by rick spisak

i'm standing in a room that used to be familiar
and now it seems so strainge
it used to have familiar furniture now all rearranged

there used to be a plant here
there used to be some flowers
now where ere i look
i just see lonely hours

o there used to be a chair there 
i used to see a wall
now i just hear, my hearts hunger
pounding hour by hour

these walls once seemed painted 
colored by our love
now their bare and grayish
not warm, just plain now 
untinted by loves power

once i stacked my books here
once i drew and smiled
now i sit all huddled 
and my lips empty denials

the rooms were lit by love once
once were happy gay
now they're drained of warmth, love 
since you 've wandered 'way

oh how my heart sang
to hold your hand in mine
to see those little wrinkles
nestled by your eye

those lines had seen much laughter
and i caused some i'm sure
but my eyes are lined in worry
and you don't come to my shore

i built a nest my darling
i thought you'd always stay
i tried to make it warm and loving
to try to light your day

but it seems my love light
was just a match blown out
and all the while i didn't know
how long you'd thrown it out

i hoped my arms would nourish you
i gave you all i could
but like the priest whose temple fell
i thought i did some good

and since you hold my love as worthless
and time with me as loss
i hope the gold it seems you've found is worth more
than my dross

i hope he really loves you
i hope your all he needs
because darling in this heart of mine
i never welcomed weeds
Up ] behaviorists ] Blasphemer ] Bronto ] cantilevered ] Non-Disposable ] unemployed_atom ] ubiquidous ] synthetic_time ] midnights_camp ] homeland-defence ] o_ralph ] r_u_a-jew ] Love Canal ] warm_calculations ] once_was_a_hat ] Blindman ] cheery_barium_berries ] city_trees ] driving_after ] gary_wilson ] caution georgie-by rws ] s-d-i ] ethnic_cleansing ] temperature_o_space ] recreational_radiation ] Plays ] up_on_garbage ] ultimat_q ] on_ice ] polygamy_wars ] hinged_n_hollow ] zowewet ] considering ] turner_seagraves ] e_brew_n_a_rhab ] making_a_normal ] cymbionese_symbol ] always_another ] lighting_your_shoes ] budgetary_battle ] robo-rat ] up_from_Dido ] [ Training_Lonliness ] contentious_dissenters ] 1st_gifts ] musty_weight ] plastic_soldiers ] israeli_walls ] tall_tangled_banner ] artists_study ] on_aging ] dear_guantanimo ] spending_anothers ] galaxy_trails ]